


Illogical

by amvlfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Confusion, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, not too much tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23597986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amvlfoy/pseuds/amvlfoy
Summary: You know Draco’s infatuated with you, but when it comes to logic and rivalry, you couldn’t give a damn what he thinks or how he acts to show he cares.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Male reader, Draco Malfoy/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	1. pt.1

**Author's Note:**

> you can find this on my tumblr ( @amvlfoy ) and my quotev account ( @skavanders ) !
> 
> lmao this looked longer on tumblr ;x;

From the other houses’ perspectives, you were seen as the bookish, intellectual introvert who spent too much time studying and practicing getting good grades in every class. You knew this to be true, obviously, but from your perspective there was really nothing more to bother yourself with. To you, socialization was unnerving. Making friends was pointless. The Yule Ball was insufferable. Girls and boys gathering together for one night in the year to dance and drink and eat till they grew sick to their stomachs. Not to mention the eventual snogging off in the hallways after or even during the party. When you thought of things logically, there were very few people who attended the Yule Ball with a date and managed to keep them for another day.  
A week if they were lucky.  
Relationships didn’t last long in the school because of rivalry between opposing houses, which always left you wondering why some would even patronize themselves to try being in one in the first place. Sure, some of the students would hook up with kids from the same house, but even then, the love wouldn’t last long. Especially in Ravenclaw. You know what’s better than knowledge? Nothing. Although those desperate for affection wouldn’t admit it in the beginning, they soon realized they were more desperate to pass classes than gain a significant other.  
Bad decisions were made, hearts were broken, but at the end of the day Ravenclaws were satisfied with the high marks they got on their O.W.Ls exam. And that was what mattered. You really wished you could say the same. A small yelp erupted from the back of your throat when something hard came in contact with your head, which then fell to the ground with a thud, alerting the attention of a few students walking by. Rubbing the blossoming bruise on your head, you looked down to see a bright green Granny Smith apple half bitten into, the juices dripping out and creating a tiny puddle by your feet. Blinking for a moment, you stooped over and picked the apple up, examining it properly before directing your focus on a group of snickering Slytherins only a few feet away. Goyle stood in the very middle of the group, smirking and high fiving his peers, solving my suspicions as to who exactly threw the fruit.

“Off in your own little made up world again, (L/n)?” He teased, causing the others to break out in a round of chuckles. Lips pursing at his rude comment, you hummed thoughtfully and folded your arms behind your back pleasantly, taking a few steps forward.  
“Ah, yes. My world of lies and foolish fantasies; much like the idea of you scoring higher than 43% on an exam.” Goyle’s face scrunched up into a horrid sneer, cheeks flushed red in embarrassment as his eyes cast back and forth between his fellow classmates, who were now snickering in amusement at your remark. Chest puffed out in attempts to show dominance and strength, Goyle managed to stutter out a less than offensive insult right back at you.  
“Y-Yeah, well, at least I don’t spend all my time reading books. What’s the point of reading books?”  
  
“Well, for starters, they give you factual and useful information to help you in your studies; although it hasn’t seemed to help you in that area; and secondly, reading books is a hell of a ton better than what it must feel like to hang out with you all day, Goyle. Maybe you should read a book that will help you gain a date. Heaven knows someone of your stature could use that kind of knowledge and skill.”  
Goyle was about as red as a firetruck or the feathers of a Phoenix and shaking madly. You noticed his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, knuckles white and the thin blue veins under his skin showing freely. The remaining Slytherins had formed a semi-circle around us, elbowing each other in the ribs and gawking at the scene in front of them with interest. Some gave hoots and hollers of encouragement, and you could sense the start of a “fight” chant rising in the midst of the air.  
"Oh, that doesn’t frustrate you, does it? The fact that I’ve just humiliated you while in the presence of all these observers?"  
  
"Shut… _up_.” Goyle seethed through grinding teeth, spit nearly flying from his mouth.  
  
"Why? I’m only reciprocating what you do to me all the time. What’s wrong with a little payback, hmm?“ You grinned coyly, admiring the furious expression Goyle harbored. You never would have done this if any teachers were present, but now that you had Goyle all to yourself, it was extremely satisfying to act out and show him just who he was dealing with. Although you were determined to make him notice his mistakes, it began to grow quite hot once students from joined the commotion, swarming and crowding the hallway, pushing past one another to try and see what was happening more clearly. The attention made you nauseous, and your vison blurred for a split second. But you weren’t finished yet.  
  
"I said, shut up, you filthy _mudblood_!” He raised his fist to make the first swing, but you were quick enough to leap forward and take hold of his forest green tie, yanking it towards you so that your noses were close to touching. You glared darkly at Goyle, watching as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead, his wide, fearful eyes fixed on your own (e/c) ones. If he was going to verbally abuse the loyal, kind-hearted muggle-born wizards and witches of Hogwarts, including yourself, then you were going to present him with something physical that would make him think twice about repeating such a phrase.  
  
"Say it again, you insolate, worthless worm.“ You leaned over to whisper in his ear, your free hand clutching his arms so tight it would bruise within minutes, while you drove the heel of your boot onto his left foot.  
" _Say it_.” Instead of complying, Goyle grabbed your wrist and twisted it, making you cry out in slight pain. He shoved your heel from his foot and took a handful of your robe near the Ravenclaw stitched emblem; almost tearing it in the process;, aiming his fist right between your eye and your cheekbone. You could already feel the pain of impact even when he hadn’t yet punched you. At that moment, you figured there was no point in fighting back. You weren’t the strongest boy in school, least one you would expect to win a battle against Goyle, who was a good four inches taller than you, and had been in too many squabbles to count.  
"You’re gonna regret sayin’ that, (L/n).“ You shut your eyes, knowing he was about to start the beating and silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring your wand. It would have come in handy to stop Goyle’s urge to punch you, as his fist reared back, ready to pummel you into oblivion–

"Stop!” You re-opened your eyes a sliver, just to see the miraculous sight of bleach blonde hair, and silvery gray orbs staring menacingly at Goyle and you. He had parted the crowd down the middle and swiftly made his way to the center of the circle, pausing beside Goyle and roughly pulling him back from you, to which Goyle could only gawk in awe.  
“Draco, what do you think you’re doing? I was just going to beat ‘im up!” Draco squinted at you, leaning down to peer into your hard gaze. You swallowed, trying to get rid of the evident lump in your throat, but you did not back down. You stood your ground, straightening your back so you reached the height of his collarbone. You had only met Draco a few other times and knew for a fact that he seemed to be quite infatuated with you. You decided to amuse him by acting like you had no idea of the endless, longing stares he would give you throughout class. The quick up and down movements his eyes would make when he was checking you out in the halls, before hastily pretended nothing happened. All those mornings at breakfast when he’d poke his head over the sea of students just to take a look at you, at the far end of the table. He didn’t poke at you with rude nicknames, he didn’t push you around, he didn’t treat you as if you were meaningless. Yet, he didn’t once try to stop the bullying his 'minions’ would set up for you or end the teasing. He didn’t speak to you. Whenever his group teased me, he would simply walk away, arms crossed with a scowl. You assumed he never cared. Now you were beginning to think differently. Since everyone realized that the fight was no longer continuing, and that you and Draco were still going to pursue with your staring contest, they slowly wandered off, some glancing over their shoulders to see if anything might change. The only ones left were you, him, his gang of Slytherins, and a few Ravenclaws who were worriedly waiting for you to step back and leave with them back to the common room. You heard Luna whisper fiercely behind you, calling you to end it all.  
“(M/n). He’s not worth it, come on.” You found that even if you wanted to move, you couldn’t. Your feet were planted firmly to the floor, and your stare fixed on Draco.  
  
“Draco,” Pansy whined. “Let’s just head off. Let the stupid mudblood go with his friends, then we can spend some quality time together.” Pansy linked her arm with the said boy, smiling a sickly sweet smile and batting her eyelashes at him. Draco refused to answer her. He moved not in Pansy’s direction, but yours. Your chests were practically touching, and his hot breath fanned against your face, bringing an unfortunate pink blush to your cheeks. He was too close. Way too close. 

"(M/n), please–“ Luna pleaded, her sentence cutting short when another Ravenclaw interrupted her. There were gasps, and you saw from the corner of your eye the Slytherins cowering, Pansy releasing Draco to follow them with frigid steps and a stunned expression.  
  
"Mr. (L/n), Mr. Malfoy. Is there a problem here?” Professor McGonagall spoke, her voice taught with certainty. She obviously knew you two must have been causing some sort of trouble, but she needed evidence. You expected Draco to speak, tell her that you had started the fight, but he didn’t. Goyle, his face fully returned to its original shade stepped forward, pointing at you accusingly. 

"(M/m) tried to–“  
"I was not asking you, mister Goyle.” McGonagall edged, pressing further into the situation. He boots clicked on the wood of the floor, the sound echoing up and reaching the high ceiling above, and stood patiently waiting for either of you to respond to her question. Draco frowned, his eye contact never breaking, and said carefully: "No, Professor. There’s no problem. (L/n) and I were having a disagreement, but we’ve settled it efficiently.“ 

You flinched in shock, as did the Slytherins, and tilted your head slightly in confusion. The last thing you expected was for the Draco Malfoy to stick up for you. He had lied, which was more than understandable for his personality, but the purpose for it was uncanny. McGonagall was not convinced, although she appeared to be in a particularly good mood that day, so she nodded curtly, and sent one last look of disapproval to the Slytherins and Ravenclaws before leaving, robes curling and swaying with her large strides. Draco finally blinked when McGonagall had gone and backed away from you with caution. You smirked without knowing it and chuckled briefly. You saw that you were still holding the apple, its’ skin gleaming in the light, nails digging into the surface. With a shake of your head, you took a bite from the side that Goyle hadn’t eaten, then threw the remains of the fruit into a nearby garbage, wiping your hands clean from any juices and swallowing.  
"I win.” Drake’s breath hitched at your words, and without another seconds delay, you made your exit with the rest of the jogging after you, expressing their concerns for the display of violence. Most of them explained how you could have handled the condition more logically, but you weren’t so interested in logic after what happened. Something in the depths of your mind told you that that wouldn’t be your last run-in with Goyle, and that wouldn’t be your last lie shared with Draco. You were so focused on thinking of possible outcomes for the next couple of days, that you didn’t even feel Draco’s stare following you the entire way to your common room. Nor did you hear his hushed tone mumbling throughout the rest of the day,

“My father will hear about this”.


	2. pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since Draco stood up for you during your fight with Goyle, you’ve been suffering at the hands of your own affections. Now, you have to push past the problem, as well as your worst fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> re-reading this made me cringe and i almost don't want to post it here, but i'm doing it anyways
> 
> also, i might've forgotten to put this in the last chapter, but the reader is an introverted Ravenclaw - just in case some of you were confused.

Since the fight with Goyle ensued, you have been particularly on edge about everything. It started out with small things, like glances students shot at you in the hallway, and the whispers hanging over your head, reverberating inside your brain which caused an enormous headache. Then everything escalated from there. You couldn’t pay attention in class, you were having trouble studying, and above all you could barely eat, let alone sleep too. You spent the last two weeks staying up till three in the morning, then waking up at six to prepare yourself for breakfast; although previously stated, you ate none of. So many nights staring at the bunk directly above yours, where soft, pleasant snores were emitting from, leaving you to wonder hopelessly what it felt like to get a good rest.   
So many smiling faces, and you couldn’t help but frown at your own misfortune.   
You tried asking the Weasley twins to cast a sleeping spell on you, but even before they could comply, they were dragged off by Ron and Hermione, who had told you earnestly that a sleeping spell was not the answer. You tried sitting out in the fields on a nice sunny day with your favourite book, but still, nothing changed. Aroma therapy was suggested by a Hufflepuff who saw you in distress, and though it was kind of them to speak up, the tip came as very unhelpful. Sure, your dorm room now smelt of sweets and flowers, but it didn’t aid your struggle the slightest. What was the cause of your horrible torture, you ask? It was illogical, really, in your opinion.  
Luna knew why.  
Cho knew.  
So did Michael, who you rarely ever hung out with.  
It seemed like almost everyone in Ravenclaw knew why you were having so much inner conflict. It was all because of Malfoy.

  
“ _Idiotic, impetuous, Malfoy_ …” You muttered bitterly as you sulked on the long, cushioned loveseat within the Ravenclaw common room. Dozens of other students looked up from their books and snickered at what you said, causing you to grumble and stick your tongue out at them.   
It mattered not if they knew you well enough, because apparently teasing you was the only thing second best to studying.   
Luna smiled at you, pushing strands of hair from her face and flipping to the next page of her textbook, while Cho –who sat on a large stack of differently blue hued pillows on the ground– reached over to pat your leg.   
“Don’t be so melodramatic, (m/n). It’s no big deal.” 

  
“Oh, right, I’m sorry.” You spoke sarcastically, rolling your eyes at the pair. “Obviously I’ve forgotten that passing my classes, graduating and joining the ministry doesn’t take knowledge and a perfect report card. Wait–” You paused, tapping your chin for effect, then spreading your arms wide. “Except it does take exactly that. And unfortunately, Malfoy is getting in the way of that because of his–”   
Luna and Cho gave you amused, appointed looks, smirks rising upon their features as they pressed forward. You immediately regretted saying anything at all.  
“His _what_ , (m/n)?” Cho cooed, wiggling her eyebrows. You flushed bright red, crossing your arms and leaning back on the couch with a pout.

  
“Is it his ‘ _hypnotic storm gray eyes_ ’ that make you lose concentration is class? Or, maybe his ' _luxurious blonde hair_ ’ that you wish you run your fingers through?” Luna chided, giggling at your astonished reaction. She was reciting the exact words you had written inside your journal, the one your parents had given you before you left for Hogwarts. Assuming no one would be able to find where you hid it, you kept it 'locked’ with a single leather string tied around the cover. Now, you were wishing you had put a   
proper lock on it, or even an enchanted one. Maybe then your friends wouldn’t have found out about all those things you said about Draco. It was even worse knowing that you actually meant them, and weren’t just blowing off steam, trying to make up an excuse as to why you were failing exams.   
“I–you–how could you…” You stuttered, a fiery heat taking place on your cheeks. Tugging at the collar of your sweater, you let out an exasperated puff of air and glanced at all the sheets of paper strewn about, all covered with scribbles of notes. Your own textbook was opened to a specific page on potions, which just happened to be your worst subject. The words on the page taunted you, laughing at your misery. You could already foresee the terrible mark you were going to receive on your O.W.Ls. You could see the day you would be kicked out of Hogwarts and forced to return to the muggle world and work as a clerk or in any other dull, modern job.

  
“We’re sorry we peeked, (m/n), we were just curious. We won’t tell anyone else; we promise. It will stay between us three.” Cho said solemnly, seeing just how upset you looked. There was an uncomfortable silence in the air for a few minutes, causing a nervous sweat to break out across the nape of your neck. Your hands became clammy, and you wiped them on your robes in disgust, shaking your head at how unbound you had become. All because of one boy.   
“Hey, look, let’s just get back to studying.” Luna nodded towards the stack of books, their covers torn at the edges, but otherwise in excellent condition. “If you try hard enough, I’m sure you’ll be able to get You-Know-Who off your mind.”

  
You snorted, picking up the book that lay beside you and placing a bookmark where you would need to revisit. “You make it sound like you’re talking about the actual You-Know-Who, and not the one who sits two rows in front of me in DADA.”

  
“Well it’s not our fault you think everything physical about him is attractive. And by everything, we mean his name as well. We’re at a loss as to what else we’d call him.”   
You sighed, finally settling down to read once more, hoping that this time there would be no distractions to keep you from your studies. Line after line, word for word you read, even after your eyes grew incredibly sore, and your muscles were begging for a break. For hours you studied, making the most important notes and keeping track of what chapters you should re-read, just to make it certain that you would remember. You weren’t going to fail another test. If cutting off all communication and spending extra time in library instead of being with your few companions was what it took, then that was all there was to it. You would avoid any possible roadblocks or success or push past them.  
There was no acceptance for failure.

  
**Draco’ s P.O.V**

  
“ _Damn it!_ ” I cursed, observing the mess I had made on the bedside table, where clean written study sheets once lay, now soaked in a puddle of black ink. In attempts to sneak into (m/n)’s dorm room, I had also knocked over a bottle of expensive ink, in turns ruining his hard work. It was extremely difficult to get into the Ravenclaw tower without being seen, but luckily, I was only partially seen by Michael Corner before I managed to slip up the staircase and through the secret entrance to the boy’s dormitory.   
I was so entranced by the décor of the room–it being so much unlike the Slytherin dormitory– that I bumped into not only some of (m/n)’s belongings, but others as well. Had I not brought my wand with me; I wouldn’t have been able to repair the damage I caused. Unfortunately, my reparo spell could only fix so much, and the stain on (m/n)’s work sheet would remain there.   
_Hopefully he won’t notice it,_ I thought, slumping on his comfortable bed and tracing my fingers over the satin blankets. The bed was so soft, I felt like I could lay down and sleep for a week and wake fully refreshed. Yet, I noticed the dark bags underneath (m/n)’s eyes during potions, which gave away that he obviously hadn’t been getting the rest he needed.   
_He spends too much time studying._  
I ran a hand through my cropped blonde hair and gave a bored sigh. I didn’t think (m/n) would be staying up this late, and it was already nearing twelve o'clock. I felt my eyelids droop, and my vision blur.  
 _I wonder what it would be like to sleep in this bed with him. . ._ He’s probably very huggable for someone his size.   
I snapped awake, glancing in a portrait mirror that sat on the wall closest to me to see my cheeks engulfed in a deep red blush.   
_Why did I have to think of that? Think of something else. . .his hair, his eyes, his lips–oh Salazar, what it must feel like to kiss his lips–_

  
With a groan, I turned on my side and buried my face into a pillow, the heat on my face unbearable.   
I hated how I felt, at first. Now, I still do, but there was something else mixed in with that emotion. The gnawing sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when (m/n) passed by, or the inevitable smile that crept onto my face when he said something funny, and thought I wasn’t listening. When he met all the gazes, I sent him during breakfast, it was worse than anything. The sickness, the smile and that stupid blush formed into one big mistake.   
Slytherins and Ravenclaws didn’t normally work out together in friendship, much less in a romantic relationship. It was possible, yes, but with great compromise. Ravenclaws value knowledge for the sake of knowledge, while us Slytherins are always striving for better. We ourselves value knowledge for what it can do to us on a personal level.   
And (m/n)? He was the most determined Ravenclaw I had even met. Glances shared meant nothing when it came to his studies, and he was excelling in his little introverted world on his own.   
Knowing that made me feel self-conscious on a whole new level, though never reaching the height of nerve it gave me to think of him rejecting my affections.   
It took me a while to notice it, but sure as daylight, I did like him, maybe even love him. I admired how confident he was to stand up to Goyle, and how easily he could sprout witty remarks to those who teased him. I was shocked to find that he was in a fight with Goyle, when he always acted so timid and quiet–only daring to speak out when he knew the answer to a question, which was almost all the time.   
Shifting on the bed to get into a more comfortable position, I suddenly felt something hard but smooth poke the back of my neck. I sat up to lean on my elbows and pull out whatever was under the pillow, and slowly wrapped my hand around the base of something of leather quality. I considered that it was just a textbook (m/n) had snuck in to read late at night, but soon found that it was a journal. Plain and simple, with only the design of a willow tree on the front with a band of silver encircling it.  
His initials were stitched into the bottom with white thread, making the cursive font of them pop against the dark brown of the leather.  
Hesitantly, I began to untie the complicated knots on the string which held it closed, and flipped to a random page 

  
_Sep 23rd, 1995_  
  
 _So far, my 5th year has been pleasant. I’m currently practicing for my upcoming OWL exam, and I feel confident that I’ll pass. Ravenclaw is still the same, Luna is doing well in her studies as well, and Cho is too, although she seems discouraged at the fact that she wasn’t able to play Seeker again in Quidditch due to Umbridge’s disband of the game._

  
The rest of the entry was mostly written about (m/n)’s hatred for Professor Umbridge–and I could wholeheartedly agree on the matter– and Quidditch. I grew bored of it after a couple more sentences and turned to a new page.

  
_May 1996_   
  
_Today was the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw Quidditch match. Our team put up a good fight, but in the end, Gryffindor had the victory. Cho was upset when Ginny caught the snitch, but afterwards when I gave her words of encouragement, she had cooled down a bit and gave in to shaking hands with Ginny like I suggested. Even if I am in Ravenclaw, I have to say I’m quite proud of Ron for pushing back in the last while of the game. Once the match was over, I told him how stubborn he was, to which he was at first offended, but glad to hear later that I was actually complimenting him. He offered for me to come with him, Hermione and Harry to his twins’ brothers shop Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and that was without a doubt the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve always felt that I had to make friends with people n my own house, but I can feel a bond growing between myself and the Golden Trio that I quite like._   
_Ron is loyal, funny, and sometimes when I’m not in the common room, I’ll go out with him to the bleachers with Fred and George to eat some of the sweets he has stashed under his bed._   
_Hermione is someone I can talk to frequently, whether it be about magic or everyday life, and she always listens to me, and vice versa. She loves to read just as much as I do, and is also procrastinating about our OWLs exam, but I have no uncertainty that she’ll pass with flying colors. She truly is remarkable._   
_Harry is courageous and witty, and spending time with him has been the most relaxing. I don’t get to hang out with him often, but when I do, we are usually reading in the library or sitting out in the fields, watching clouds pass by. He says he’s under a lot of pressure, what with You-Know-Who and Umbridge, and I can understand at least partially where he’s coming from. He said he’s a lot more easygoing with me, and I’m honestly glad I have that kind of effect on him–_

  
I shut the journal for a moment, growling lowly at the thought of (m/n) hanging out with Potter. Of course, he liked Potter, everyone did. _I wouldn’t be surprised if he was crushing on him._ Not wanting to continue reading about (m/n)’s relationship with Potter, I flipped a few pages forward and stopped at an entry labeled

_May 21st, 1996._

  
_Draco Malfoy–_

  
I stopped, peering at the name written there bemusedly. I re-read it, just to make sure it was really my name. I read it over and over at least twenty times but dared not to go on any further. If (m/n) had written about me in his journal, it was most likely something that would discourage me. Maybe he did know that I stared at him throughout classes and breakfast. Maybe he knew that I smiled at his jokes. Maybe he knew that I loved him.  
And he didn’t love me back.  
Closing the journal, I stuffed it under the pillow where it belonged and crossed my legs. Surely (m/n) would walk in any minute now, and when he did, I was going to end all of this. I would tell him how I felt, and if he didn’t feel the same way, then…  
My heart broke a little. I didn’t want to think of what would happen if he didn’t return my feelings. 

  
____ 

  
It was only when Cho and Luna pointed out it was nearly midnight that you decided to put an end to the session. The rest of the Ravenclaw boys had; upon new and shocking information given; left to go to Hogsmeade for a plentiful night of drinks, so now all there was to do was pack up your things and head back to your dorm room, where hopefully, you would get some rest.   
You highly doubted it, though.  
A tired yawn escaped you as you trotted down the halls, the materials in your grasp close to falling out due to the numbness in your limbs. You couldn’t feel your fingers, you had been writing too much to even feel anything above your forearm, and your feet had fallen asleep. This made it difficult to walk, for each step you took came with a prickling sensation on the bottoms of your soles that felt like a hundred needles piercing the outer layer of your skin.   
If it weren’t for that fact, you might have wished you could fall asleep just like your feet did, if only for half of a second.  
When you reached the boys dormitory, it took quite a bit of struggle to get the door open, and even more trouble to set your books and papers neatly on your desk without crumpling them, or dropping them, which risked waking those residing on both sides of your dorm. Once you had finished organizing them all from notes you needed for upcoming exams to answers for simple homework, and the numbness of your limbs had died down, you found yourself being able to enjoy the peaceful, quiet chirps from crickets outside. The moon was at its full height, peeking out behind a thick cluster of clouds, allowing select few stars to appear in the dark indigo sky. It was tranquil, a trait you didn’t often find in an obnoxiously loud, busy school like this one. The serenity of it all was probably enough to put you to sleep right away.

  
“Well, I thought you’d _never_ get back.”  
You jumped in fright, cursing when your knee collided with a sharp corner on your desk, and hissing at the pain. Holding your injured leg up with both hands, you turned–or, hopped rather– to see an unexpected visitor, sitting on your bed with his legs crossed elegantly, as if it were perfectly normal to appear out of the blue and startle the living daylights out of someone. He smirked, pointing to your knee, which was throbbing slightly. 

“Did I really scare you that much?”

  
“Merlin’s beard, Draco,” You hissed, standing as straight as possible, attempting to forget the bruise forming on your kneecap, and failing. “What are you doing here?”

  
“Well, I was waiting for you. I was getting rather impatient, but luckily you made it.”

  
“I know what you’re doing her, nitwit. What I meant was: What is your purpose in my room?”  
Draco shrugged, reaching under my pillow to reveal a simple, dark brown leather journal, the front cover embroidered with decorative stitches in the shape of a willow tree which was surrounded by a thin band of silver. A plain string of the same material lay on the sheets by the edge of the bed, the complicated knots that had been tied there now untangled.  
Your heart stopped beating momentarily. It was hard to breathe. 

  
“I wanted to talk to you about something. Something important.” You gulped, trying to hold back to tears forming in your eyes. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to search through other people’s belongings?”  
Nodding, Draco held the journal out in front of you, to your surprise. You took it with trembling hands and looked at him with scrunched brows. Draco patted the open space beside him as a motion for me to sit down, but you refused. You could only stand there, hoping that he couldn’t see your tears in the mild light from the torches of the dormitory, and that your body would cease its shaking. Noticing you weren’t ready to comply, Draco cast his gaze to the floor with a sigh, hands settled on his thighs. 

  
“I know I shouldn’t have read your journal, but curiosity got the best of me.” He whispered, melancholy dripping off his tone. “I saw the entry you wrote about me, by the way.”  
You blinked rapidly, rubbing your temple in frustration, and as a tactic to cover your glossy pupils. Your cornea stung as the droplets of water swelled up, though you didn’t let them pool over. You wouldn’t let him see you in such a weak position.   
"If you’re worried that I read the whole thing, don’t be. I only saw my name.“  
You tried your best to hide your tears and gave him a questioning leer through your (h/c) bangs.   
Draco exhaled through his nose and managed to look you straight in the eye, biting his lip nervously.   
If anyone had told you yesterday that Draco Malfoy was able to look this pitiful and depressed, you would have laughed in their face. You knew him to be the kind of person who didn’t care what others thought of him and was cruel natured in everything he did. He was neutral towards you in many ways, but you weren’t expecting something so expressive and desolate beneath that rough façade. 

  
"I didn’t read it because I’d rather know what you think of me aloud than what you think of me inside this book. Or, if it’s the same thing either way I’d still like to know.”  
Draco’s eyes were pleading, held with so many emotions you didn’t think he was capable of having. Fear, anxiety, regret, and something strange you couldn’t decipher. Draco stood from the bed and walked closer. You were re-enacting the same position you were in two weeks ago, faces inches apart, chests pressed together and Draco’s breath fanning your face. If the room wasn’t hot before, it definitely was now. 

  
“Who am I to you, (m/n)?”

  
You felt a response bubbling and rising up in your throat, the words just waiting to be sent out. You wanted to get it over with. You wanted your suffering to end. Draco was here, asking you to be honest with him, while you couldn’t tell if he was being honest himself. You could hear your heart thrumming inside your ribcage, deep and harsh like the beat of a drum, the sound echoing in your ears.   
Your body would not allow you to bite your tongue. You were forced to make a decision that might ruin your life, yet even then you realized there was no turning back.

“You’re illogical.” It tumbled out just as quickly as you were able to cover your mouth to keep any more embarrassing facts from escaping, though you found it so incredible that you could not stop speaking. It was as if someone had laced whatever you’d eaten or drank that day with Veritaserum.   
Draco pried your hand from your mouth and gripped in gently in his own. “What?”

  
“…You’re illogical.” You mumbled. “ _All of this_ is. What I’m feeling is illogical, and who I’m feeling it for is illogical. I never planned for any of this to happen, but it did. The universe saw its’ chance and decided it was my time to face tribulation, and at the worst possible time.” Your voice grew gradually louder with each word, and you wrenched yourself free of Draco’s grip to stare at the wall, hugging yourself tightly. 

  
“I’m failing tests, I can’t pay attention in class, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and It’s so unfair! This is all _you’re_ fault!”

  
“How on earth is it my fault?” Draco sounded hurt, confused and irritated at your claim.

  
“Because I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you!” You shouted, turning to glare at him. Draco’s eyes widened, and you knew it was because of the tears that were rolling down your cheeks like waterfalls. You could feel them clearly, hot and wet on your skin. A dreaded sob rose arose and you bit your lip to cover it up, sniffling softly. Of all the terrible things you had been through—which wasn’t much–this was the worst. You were so stressed by the unfortunate turn of events and having not dealt with these types of emotions before, it was far more testy to be rid of them. You didn’t want to leave Hogwarts. You wanted to graduate with your newly made friends and become part of the ministry. You wanted to have a family and raise children of your own and teach them how to be great wizards or witches.   
This was your home, and you were less than willing to go back to the dull, magicless muggle world.  
Above all, you weren’t ready to leave Draco. 

  
“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you,” You repeated, shying away when Draco tried to approach you, “Let alone even like you. I’m supposed to value knowledge more than anything and rely in facts and logic to aid me situations like this. I’m not supposed to fall for someone in a house so utterly opposite from mine, or a boy who treats others as if they are less than him.”

  
Your eyes stung due to the many tears pouring from them, and you were shaking helplessly. You felt you had reached your lowest peak in life. The world was crumbling, all your priorities fading away and–  
You gasped when Draco pulled you into his arms, letting his chin fall atop your head as he stroked your hair soothingly. His embrace was warm and secure, and you could hear his own heartbeat ramming hard against his chest. He was gripping your robes like they were a lifeline, and you thought briefly that he had pressed his lips to the crown of your head, but you weren’t certain. 

  
“I’m sorry…” He whimpered. “I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you either.”

  
You couldn’t even come up with an answer to what he said. All you could do was return his embrace, shoving your face into his chest and every once and a while giving a small hiccup, to which Draco squeezed you tighter. The two of you were swaying, almost like a slow dance, and this continued for the next twenty minutes or so until your cries had come to a stop, and your breathing was no longer erratic.  
Although you were enjoying the hug, you knew it was time to discuss dire matters, and pulled away from Draco.  
“You hurt people.”

  
“I know.” He said regrettably, fiddling with his thumbs.

  
“You hurt my friends for years.”

  
“I know.” His face scrunched up is displeasure. 

  
“How do I know I can trust you?”  
You sat down on the bed, rubbing your eyes absentmindedly. Draco followed silently and settled himself next to you, your legs brushing against each other. You both looked ahead, but his hand inched towards yours so that the tips of your pinkies were touching. You didn’t react, so he inched closer, and your ring fingers were touching as well. Still nothing, now your middle fingers crossed over one another. Soon, your fingers were intertwined, and you felt Draco squeeze your palm with his. You squeezed back.

“I know I’ve made mistakes. I know that what I did was wrong. I understand that it may take a while to gain your forgiveness, and you may not fully trust me yet, but all I’m asking for is a second chance…to prove I’m worth your time.”  
Draco’s free hand slithered across your neck–sending an oddly pleasing chill down your spine–and reached over to caress your cheek, tilting your head in his direction. There was so much overwhelming love in his gaze, that you could barely comprehend it. He rested his forehead against yours, and you took a deep breath. You imagined the reactions of your fellow Ravenclaws when they found out you had somehow tamed the most impulsive and crude boy in the school. You saw the stunned and appalled expressions of Ron, Hermione and Harry, who had experienced Draco’s wrath more than anyone. 

You pictured meeting Draco’s parents, and the disapproval you would have to overlook once they knew their only son was dating a muggleborn wizard. A male, none the less.  
While your own family would accept the idea and welcome Draco with open arms, you imagined how hard it would be for you closest friends to see you with someone they thought to be so vile and cruel. You leaned into Draco’s touch, humming at the warmth he gave off, which then spread to the rest of your body.   
_Love is love,_ you told yourself. _Sometimes love leads to making hard choices; ones that will affect the relationship you have with those special to you. Sometimes you must deal with the pain, forgive and forget, and move on._  
You grinned.  
 _We all make mistakes._

  
Draco quirked a brow at your change in mood, and this only made your grin widen. Because of how short you were, when you leaned up, the only thing you could do was nuzzle your nose with Draco’s, which was not exactly what you planned. You huffed in annoyance, and Draco immediately got the message and leaned down to press his lips onto yours. They were softer and sweeter than anything you imagined and intoxicated you deeply. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he responded by wrapping his around your waist, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. When Draco nibbled on your bottom lip, you pulled away with a sigh of content, and ran your thumb along his jawline.  
He smiled. A genuine smile that made you feel lighter than air.  
It was illogical. It was unreal. It wasn’t knowledge.   
But when did having a bit of adventure in one’s life ever hurt?

  
“I forgive you. Don’t mess this up.”

  
“I won’t.” He confirmed, bringing you in for another kiss.

  
____  
  
 **Bonus:**

  
“Luna! Did everyone change the password for the common room without me?”

  
“Oh, Yeah! Sorry about that, (m/n).” Luna tried to hold back a giggle and failed ultimately, Cho smirking at her from the side.  
You groaned, gesturing to the eagle knocker impatiently, while Luna skipped to the door happily. She was a lot more peppy than usual, and throughout the entire day she had a hop in her step. 

  
She knocked on the handle, threw a 'secret’ wink to Cho, and waited for the eagle to speak its riddle.  
Its beak opened, and a cawing voice came as nothing more than a mere whisper:

  
_“What do you call two star-crossed lovers meeting halfway in the dead of night?”_

  
You pursed your lips together, glaring at the two girls who begun to laugh at your objection of the puzzle. 

  
“(M/n) and Draco.”

  
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You grumbled.


End file.
